March 14 - 15, 2018. On a whim, I ask Danni if she is free for a drink before she picks up her kids. This is routine for us - especially on days when one of us sees our shared medium. Danni also has psychic abilities.
To overly simply, Danni is an empath and I am a clairvoyant. She can feel things on behalf of others, I can communicate with other dimensions. ESP is complicated and talents overlap. Every human has some ability, like being able to sing.
Anyway, today was my turn and I am excited to relay the experience.
It’s late afternoon, we share a glass of wine at her shop and chat about my session. As we are getting ready to wrap it up, Danni tells me she is headed to a family dinner to celebrate what would have been her brother Cal’s 45th birthday. Wow!
“Danni”, I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you say something? I feel Cal wants to reach out to you, but you are not ready yet. What, what is holding you back?”
And the flood gates opened. I know Cal died in an accident when they were teenagers, but she never will talk about it. I know it weighs heavily on her and I have previously encouraged her to share what happened. Finally, today she explains that she feels she is responsible for Cal’s death.
The words tumble from her, hanging in the air between us. Tears well in my eyes as they stream down her face. I learn that basically she raised him. Her folks had a messy divorce and her mother was always either working or emotionally unavailable. On the night Cal died, he asked Danni for a lift. But she was tired and didn’t feel like going out, so he took his motorcycle instead. The minute he left, she had a sinking feeling she would never see him again. She was 19, he was 17.
For all these years she has believed that his death was her fault. Today, I can see she is desperately trying to understand it was an accident. She is not responsible. Daily, she has carried the weight of this burden. It is blocking her emotional and spiritual growth, and she knows it. Today, by saying it out load, she is beginning to set the guilt free.
We hug it out and part ways, each go on to our respective evenings.
When I hit the hay, I drift to sleep thinking about Danni and Cal. I can’t sleep. This is not uncommon for me. I sleep most nights in shifts and do a good deal of channeling in the middle of the night. Tonight is no exception. I wake around 3 am with these words swirling in my head.
I try to sign it Abby, but nope, the sign off is simply “me”. Ok, Universe - where is this going? How do I give this note to Danni? What will make it special? Is it from Cal?
That’s it! I’ll write the words on a $2 bill. I know I have a few stashed away - I sometimes give them as bar and bat mitzvah gifts. I have terrible handwriting, so I cut out the words from what I typed and stick it on the back of the bill, which coincidently (or not) fits perfectly. That’s fine, but I feel I must write the words on the bill, so they will be indelibly inscribed therein. I flip the bill back to the front, I find a red pen, and do my best.
Hmmm. Now I’m thinking maybe I should put this bill in a picture frame, I have some extras. NO, it occurs to me it most definitely is NOT in a picture frame. It goes on a floral stick with a purple flower - an inside connection for Danni and me.
By now it’s 5 am. Should I go give it to her? She is often at the kitchen this early. Could I catch her by herself? No - the bill really needs to be accompanied by the flower. Even Kroger isn’t open for another hour. Exhausted, I fall back to sleep.
I get up, run some errands, get the flower and head to her place around 11 am. We walk in the door together. Even if I came earlier, today she wouldn’t have been here. Serendipity...
She looks at me, the bill, the flower, and turns sheet white. How did I know? Collecting $2 bills was Cal’s thing. At his funeral, Danni’s mom gave Danni, her other brother, and each Cal’s closest friends a $2 bill from Cal’s collection, in a picture frame, so they would always have a piece of Cal with them. That’s why the bill could not be in a frame! My bill has to represent the release she needs from burden of that moment.
Cal has been trying to reach Danni for a long time to let her know it wasn’t her fault or responsibility. Yes, the poem is from him.
At his funeral, I learn, they played his favorite song. It’s Gorky Park’s 1990 hit “Try to find me”… We did!